Sunday, November 29, 2009

Whiter Than Snow

That's the name of a book (by Paul David Tripp) that I'm going through slowly, each chapter is a short meditation on sin and mercy and is somehow connected to Psalm 51. Really good stuff - hitting home with perfect timing. . .God gets the credit for that. In all honesty this past week was crummy - and not because anything bad happened. I just wasn't feeling it if that makes any sense. I'm not going to write it all out here, but what I will write out is the 11th chapter of this book. The Lord used it to pull me out of crummyness - I hope these words minister to you too:

I am a mass of contradictions. I don't want to be but I am.
I preach a gospel of peace, but my life isn't always driven by peace.
I talk about a Jesus who alone can fully satisfy the soul, but I am often not satisfied.
I celebrate a theology of amazing grace, but I often react in ungrace.
And if I rest in God's control, why do I seek it for myself?
Even in moments when I think I am prepared, I end up doing what I didn't want to do.
Irritation
Impatience
Envy
Discontent
Wrong talk
Anger
Self-focus
Are not the fruits of the new life, are not the way of grace.
So there is this law operating inside of me.
When I step out with a desire to do good, evil follows me wherever I go.
There is this war that rages inside of me, between a desire for good and sin that is anything but good.
There are times when I feel like a prisoner held against my will.
I didn't plan to be mad in the grocery store, but that guy made me mad.
I didn't plan to be discontent, but it just enveloped me in the quietness of the car.
That discussion wasn't supposed to degenerate into an argument but it did.
I am thankful for God's grace, but there's daily evidence that I'm still in need of help.
That battle inside me cannot be solved by
Theologies
Strategies
Principles
Techniques
Plans
Preparation
Helpful hints
Outlines.
I have been humbled by the war I cannot win.
I have been grieved by the desires I cannot conquer.
I have been confronted by the actions I cannot excuse.
And I have come to confess that what I really need is rescue.
So, have mercy on me, O God,
According to your unfailing love
According to your great compassion
Blot out my transgressions.
Wash away all my iniquity
And cleanse me from my sin.
For I know my transgressions
And my sin is always before me.
I embrace the rescue that could only be found in You.
Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord!

Amen. Here's to a new week with new mercies from a gracious Savior!

Saturday, November 28, 2009

The Double Tree

This is where I spent the majority of last week because of conferences. Such a great hotel! The best part is definitely the cookie they give you when you check in. It comes out of a warming drawer and is placed in a little brown baggie. It's the perfect combo of slightly crispy on the outside but definitely soft and chewy on the inside. Lots of chocolate chips, walnuts, and other all natural ingredients make it oh-so tasty. And oh-so dangerous upon discovering that the front desk staff will give you another 9 out of the 10 times you ask. . .regardless of how many times you ask. Once I approached the desk and the man asked ME if I wanted a cookie, now that's great service when you don't even have to ask! So when I got home I decided I would try to find the recipe. . .well, not sure if I found the real one but I found one posted by someone who's mom worked at the Double Tree so supposedly it's legit.(?). Having just baked them and completed a thorough taste test I will say that they are delicious and very similar, if not identical, to the real deal. Exciting!

So here you go my friends. . .

Double Tree's Chocolate Chip Cookies:

INGREDIENTS

½ c rolled oats
2¼ c all purpose flour
1½ t baking soda
1 t salt
¼ t cinnamon
1 c butter, softened
¾ c brown sugar, packed
¾ c granulated sugar
1½ t vanilla
½ t lemon juice
2 eggs
3 c semi-sweet, chocolate chips
1½ c chopped walnuts

INSTRUCTIONS

Grind oats in a food processor or blender until fine. Combine the ground oats with the flour, baking soda, salt and cinnamon in a medium bowl.

Cream together the butter, sugars, vanilla, and lemon juice in another medium bowl with an electric mixer. Add the eggs and mix until smooth. Stir the dry mixture into the wet mixture and blend well. Add the chocolate chips and nuts to the dough and mix by hand until ingredients are well blended.

For the best results, chill the dough overnight in the refrigerator before baking the cookies.

Spoon rounded 1/4 cup portions onto an ungreased cookie sheet. Place the scoops about 2 inches apart. Bake in a 350°F oven for 16-18 minutes or until cookies are light brown and soft in the middle. Store in a sealed container when cool to keep soft.

my notes:
- the lemon and cinnamon are unexpected, subtle but definitely fun additions
- my mom didn't have butter so I used margarine, it works but real butter is always best
- I used 2 cups chocolate chips and about 1 cup chopped bakers chocolate, I recommend doing so - the more chocolate in different forms in every bite the better

Happy Baking!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Books

You may or may not know this but I like books and reading, but more the thought of books and reading really. I have found this to be true especially on staff with Campus Crusade because I'm often being recommended amazing books and am often enticed (mostly by me) to buy these amazing books at conferences and via Amazon's super cheap used books option. Let's just say I could use I little more self control in this area. I haven't counted but I'd say I have at least (probably more) 10 books that I've started - and have the greatest intentions of finishing - but just haven't. . .yet. The key word here, I hope, is YET! I lack the discipline and patience it takes to actually finish a book before jumping to the next one. . .so we're working on that right now. I started a book called "God as He Longs for You to See Him" by Chip (such a funny name, is it short for something - Chipopher, Chiphew, Chipothan?) Ingram a while back and it's great! Here's a quote in the chapter about the sovereignty of God , a series of questions really, that got me thinking:

"Is there anything in your life that you have not submitted to the sovereign Lord? Does he hold the same place in your heart that he holds in heaven and in the universe - and that he'll hold forever? Is there any barrier between you and the King? Have you surrendered your time? Your future? Your relationships? Your money? Your will? What God wants from you is a living sacrifice."

I know these questions really challenged me - and the last part really aligned with what I had just been talking to a friend about. It dawned on me in a fresh way that we are called to be LIVING sacrifices (Romans 12), I just love that in contrast to the animal sacrifices that were commanded under the old covenant. Obviously to sacrifice an animal would mean to kill it - but when God asks us to be a sacrifice to Him we are alive in the fullest sense, both physically and most importantly spiritually. A living sacrifice is much more glorifying to God then a dead animal sacrifice - and is more pleasant for me too!

I am so thankful that I serve a God who is sovereign over all - He's all powerful, all knowing, and completely and perfecting in control - has been, is, and will always be. I am thankful that, in remembering this, offering my life as a living sacrifice even when the unknowns constantly surround me can be a joy and an honor. I am thankful for books written by godly people that help paint a clearer picture of who God is and how I am to respond in light of Him. Submission, surrender, sacrifice are possible, through the power of Christ in me, only because I live to serve a Sovereign Savior!

Stay tuned for another quote. . .and Happy Thanksgiving!

Monday, November 23, 2009

The new do:


Here it is! What do you think? If you look closely you can see the back of the cut in the mirror behind me, it's super short! The cool story behind this is that I tried to get my haircut by Anita a few weeks ago but she didn't show up. She felt bad about this and ended up cutting AND highlighting (!!) my hair for free this past week. As silly as it sounds I really do think this was a special treat from the Lord, getting my hair dyed at a salon (as opposed to the $7 box from Longs) is not something that fits well into my budget. Thanks Lord! If you live in the SLO area and want to get a great cut (and dye!) let me know and I'll pass on her info.

At the Crossroads conference this weekend I led a discussion group of juniors and seniors from Cal Poly SLO, UC Santa Barbara, and Sac State. Each of these girls are called by the Lord to STINT (Short Term International) with Campus Crusade in the next year or 2 - such an honor to be a part of their process. I just love seeing lost students turn into Christ-centered laborers for a lifetime! Off to write this month's newsletter, if you'd like to get it please let me know!

Cherish: to hold dear

Here's a thought I've been mulling over the past couple of days:

"What if evangelism was simply cherishing Jesus in natural ways before others".

Let me explain. I just got back from our Regional Staff Conference, what a wonderful time of refreshment, encouragement, community, and growth. Doug Polluck was one of our speakers and he really challenged our thinking in terms of why and how to tell others about Jesus.

Doug used the analogy of a newly married couple. The husband goes off to a bar to hang out with some old friends, the wedding ring goes off too. The wife is worried about her husband and goes to the bar to find him without his wedding ring on. How would you feel if you were the wife?

After a bit the word that came to mind was "hurt". Others might say angry but I say hurt. I would be so hurt to know that my husband didn't cherish me enough to display his love for me at all times and in all situations. It would hurt me so deeply to realize that he didn't hold me as dear as I held him.

This is how it is with me and the Lord. When I began a relationship with God I became the "bride of Christ". I would forever be His and He would forever be mine. Though this is true, I am so quick to take the wedding ring off, choosing not to cherish Jesus in natural ways before others. Instead I often choose to ignore or deny His presence, love, and grace toward me around others (think Peter's denial of Christ in John 18). Doing so mars the name of my Savior. And even more then I could ever know this "hurts" the love of my life. The hurt I would feel because of my husband's actions pales in comparison to the hurt Jesus feels when I don't openly and authentically hold Him dear in all ways always.

To those of you, whether you are a Christian or not, who have been around me when I've taken the wedding ring off, when I've not cherished Jesus in natural ways around you, I sincerely ask for your forgiveness. How I want to become a more loving bride, a more accurate representation and ambassador of my Redeemer.

When wedding rings are kept on, when Christians begin to choose to truly cherish Christ as He ought to be cherished through our thoughts, actions, and words I am convinced that many more will desire to know more about such a relationship with a living Savior, the one and only perfect Groom. Would I cherish Him as He cherishes me!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Another Pumpkin Recipe!

I just can't resist posting another great pumpkin recipe (scroll down to older posts for things like pumpkin gnocchi and pumpkin muffins) - these were a hit at a Greek gathering I put together last week. . .I'm pretty sure you'll think they're great (and easy!) too, thanks Tessa for passing this recipe on to me:

Pumpkin Cookies with Maple Frosting

1 C butter
1/2 C brown sugar
1/2 C white sugar
1 C canned pumpkin
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla
2 C flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp salt

Cream sugar and butter. Add pumpkin, egg and vanilla. Add remaining ingredients. Drop spoonfuls onto non-greased cookie sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for 10-12 minutes.

Frosting:

Boil 3 Tbsp butter and 1/2 C brown sugar until mostly smooth (Approx. 2 to 3 minutes) Cool and add 1/4 C milk and 2 C powdered sugar or until desired consistency and whip with hand mixer until smooth. Spread onto cookies.

(I only made half the frosting recipe and it was still enough for all of the cookies - but making the whole recipe would allow you to be more generous)

In other news:
- I ran my first 5K with a bunch of our Cru students this morning. My goal was to run (err. . .jog) the whole thing and I did! The scenery was gorgeous, picture a beautiful sunny morning along the San Francisco coast, super close to the Golden Gate Bridge. Ah, I love California - always have, always will.
- Go Bears! The beat UofA yesterday - on to Stanford (who beat USC!), the "big game", next weekend - it's on Stanford's turf this year. . .we'll see how it goes. I have hope!
- tomorrow night I am going to a clothing exchange party - all the girls bring clothes and jewelry they don't want anymore and then we trade with each other. Whatever isn't claimed is taken to the Goodwill. . .should be fun! After my amazing boots-find at a consignment shop a few weeks ago (I got gently used brown suede boots originally from Anthropology for 30 bucks!!) I'm getting more into this kind of thing.
- Not sure if I'll be posting again this week, I'm off to a couple of work conferences Tues-Sun in Anaheim, looking forward to it!

Okay, I think that's it. . .have a grace-filled and joyful week!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Trying not to go deep

And now for something a little less, ok - a lot less, deep. . .it's time for a haircut!

I'm not one to find a picture I say "make me look like that" BUT I found these pictures while purusing an amazing site (www.thepioneerwoman,com) and I wouldn't mind my hair looking like this:




Did the back catch you by surprise? It did me, but it was a pleasant surprise if you want my opinion. What's yours? I'm a short hair girl, there's no escaping it. I've been trying to grow my hair out since the Spring but my hair just isn't going for it. It's better to just embrace what it is then wish that it was different - ok, whoa, I said I wasn't going to go deep and here I go making a post about an upcoming haircut go deep. Well, you have til Tuesday at 4 to convince me to go big or go home!

Tomorrow's the first Greek gathering for Cal students - I can't believe the time has come. Would love your prayers!
I'm bringing desserts - torn on what to make, so many great options.
But first a bunch of students and I are exploring Cal State East Bay, seeing what God's up to and if we can be used by Him for a few hours there.
It's cold at night, I'm not a fan - but I am a fan of my new long chunky cardigan from Old Navy.

Why you keep reading this thing I don't know but thanks for your time! :)

Monday, November 9, 2009

Hum. . .

Who am I, what am I doing, and where am I headed - ah, big questions tonight.

I have a love/hate (well, that's a strong word) relationship with how there are both answers and unknowns, requiring a life of faith, to these questions. . .

Thanks to my relationship with God (by grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone) I know who I am (a child of God - wow, it's even just incredible to type those words), what I'm doing (living to glorify God), and where I'm headed (an eternity with God, my home is not on earth but in Heaven).

And yet the unknowns of who I'm becoming as well as the circumstances of my present and future leave me needing to depend on Jesus more and more. I so don't have life figured out and often feel torn in so many directions. Take Saturday - I went from driving out in country fields to bring a burrito lunch to my farmer little brother (it's wheat planting time before the rain comes!) to taking the train into the city to go to the San Francisco Symphony with my mom. What a day of diverse realities.

That's just a small example of the daily reality of not seeing the full picture - am I country girl or a city girl? Will I be in Berkeley for a long time or a short time? Will I be a part of launching a Greek movement or will I move to Holland? Will I get married, and if so when and to whom? What will life look like next year, and the year after that? And the questions go on and on. Perhaps the full picture includes a little of all of the above, or not, but likely so much more.

It's just hard to wait - it's not in our nature to wait. It's in my nature to forge ahead, thinking that I'm the one in control - forgetting that God is really the only one who sees the full picture. . .ah, when I remember this it just makes sense to actively wait on Him, seeking His direction for this life He has entrusted me with.

I just need to be reminded that the most important pieces are already in place, I'm His child, living for His glory, with an eternally secure outcome - and I did absolutely nothing to bring this all about. This brings hope, peace, and a renewed desire to trust in Him regardless of how long these questions go unanswered.

Monday, November 2, 2009

November?

Wow, it sure feels like summer and I'm 100% OK with that!

This weekend was a full one to say the least. Went to a great Bay Area Campus Crusade staff dinner - it was so good to see some of my friends who intern with Crusade in the city (this is what we call San Francisco). The host's 9 year old son has a blog explaining tricks you can do on a computer game and he's had 5,000 hits, on one day 300 people (kids, likely) visited his blog. Wow - things sure have change, I was busy playing "chutes and ladders" when I was his age!

Saturday morning some students and I served breakfast to homeless and low-income people in West Oakland, via an awesome organization called "World Impact". I've been wrestling with what it looks like to combine compassionate service with passionate proclamation of the Gospel, well - no need to reinvent the wheel, what a blessing it was to see this in action. Plus, the director is this super cool Dutch man with a huge beard and wooden shoes, gotta love that. I'm excited to go back!

I got to "skype" with a friend and former student that I mentored in SLO who is now serving the Lord full-time in El Salvador. Oh, technology - so incredible to catch up and get to pray for each other in this way. FInally finished reading "Let the Nations be Glad" (not going to lie, started it in college - have read other books in between, feels so good to have finally made it to the last page!) by John Piper. Talking with Carolyn and wrapping up this book is such a sweet reminder that God is doing incredible things worldwide to draw people to Himself.

Halloween party with Cru, a great safe and fun option for students! The theme was "You are What you Eat" - everyone was so creative! The costumes had to be something food related, I dressed up as Julia Child. She often wore pearls when she cooked, so I put on my grandma's pearls - definitely a sentimental moment because at this very time last year I was in Holland for her funeral. Here I am with one of my students, the Morton Salt girl:

And here are the costume contest winners. . .best all around: the "tapatio hot sauce man", most creative: Trader Joe, healthiest: jolly green giant, sweetest: Dots, most mysterious: refried beans. So fun!


Sunday was full too. A highlight was getting to go home with a student to meet her family and go to a young adults evening church service. She became a Christian a couple of weeks before Spring Semester ended and it was such an answer to prayer that she got connected with Menlo Park Pres, it was so fun to be able to go there with her yesterday - definitely a special evening. She's a Greek student here and it's such a blessing to be a part of her life!

Ok, that's it - off to do a little baking (http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2009/07/individual-raspberry-cobblers/) and then bedtime! How are you my reader? What is something you're looking forward to this week?