Who am I, what am I doing, and where am I headed - ah, big questions tonight.
I have a love/hate (well, that's a strong word) relationship with how there are both answers and unknowns, requiring a life of faith, to these questions. . .
Thanks to my relationship with God (by grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone) I know who I am (a child of God - wow, it's even just incredible to type those words), what I'm doing (living to glorify God), and where I'm headed (an eternity with God, my home is not on earth but in Heaven).
And yet the unknowns of who I'm becoming as well as the circumstances of my present and future leave me needing to depend on Jesus more and more. I so don't have life figured out and often feel torn in so many directions. Take Saturday - I went from driving out in country fields to bring a burrito lunch to my farmer little brother (it's wheat planting time before the rain comes!) to taking the train into the city to go to the San Francisco Symphony with my mom. What a day of diverse realities.
That's just a small example of the daily reality of not seeing the full picture - am I country girl or a city girl? Will I be in Berkeley for a long time or a short time? Will I be a part of launching a Greek movement or will I move to Holland? Will I get married, and if so when and to whom? What will life look like next year, and the year after that? And the questions go on and on. Perhaps the full picture includes a little of all of the above, or not, but likely so much more.
It's just hard to wait - it's not in our nature to wait. It's in my nature to forge ahead, thinking that I'm the one in control - forgetting that God is really the only one who sees the full picture. . .ah, when I remember this it just makes sense to actively wait on Him, seeking His direction for this life He has entrusted me with.
I just need to be reminded that the most important pieces are already in place, I'm His child, living for His glory, with an eternally secure outcome - and I did absolutely nothing to bring this all about. This brings hope, peace, and a renewed desire to trust in Him regardless of how long these questions go unanswered.
5 comments:
amen to that, sis.
i'll be praying for the Lord's peace as you wait on him and his will for you.
Love this post. There are so many times I find myself wondering these same questions. And every time I come to the same conclusion: Not only is God's plan best, but it's the only logical one. He knows us better than we know ourselves, and He has an amazing plan for us.
Sometimes I wish he'd tell me a little more at a time though.... ;)
I can't even tell you how much I needed to hear that right now. thank you!
Amen. We did nothing to bring this all about and we have been saved by Him, empowered by Him to live this life out, and eternally secure in Him! Good reminders!
great post-- the most important pieces are in place... you're here and you're doing what you've been called to do.
sometimes it's both scary yet so important to realize that the details don't have to be known by us.
as for the country vs city girl... i often wonder the same thing! i spent a weekend out in the middle of nowhere (which, in idaho, is not hard to do!) and all i could think about was how i really really wanted to go home to the big-city-boise. haha. =)
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