Whiter Than Snow

That's the name of a book (by Paul David Tripp) that I'm going through slowly, each chapter is a short meditation on sin and mercy and is somehow connected to Psalm 51. Really good stuff - hitting home with perfect timing. . .God gets the credit for that. In all honesty this past week was crummy - and not because anything bad happened. I just wasn't feeling it if that makes any sense. I'm not going to write it all out here, but what I will write out is the 11th chapter of this book. The Lord used it to pull me out of crummyness - I hope these words minister to you too:

I am a mass of contradictions. I don't want to be but I am.
I preach a gospel of peace, but my life isn't always driven by peace.
I talk about a Jesus who alone can fully satisfy the soul, but I am often not satisfied.
I celebrate a theology of amazing grace, but I often react in ungrace.
And if I rest in God's control, why do I seek it for myself?
Even in moments when I think I am prepared, I end up doing what I didn't want to do.
Irritation
Impatience
Envy
Discontent
Wrong talk
Anger
Self-focus
Are not the fruits of the new life, are not the way of grace.
So there is this law operating inside of me.
When I step out with a desire to do good, evil follows me wherever I go.
There is this war that rages inside of me, between a desire for good and sin that is anything but good.
There are times when I feel like a prisoner held against my will.
I didn't plan to be mad in the grocery store, but that guy made me mad.
I didn't plan to be discontent, but it just enveloped me in the quietness of the car.
That discussion wasn't supposed to degenerate into an argument but it did.
I am thankful for God's grace, but there's daily evidence that I'm still in need of help.
That battle inside me cannot be solved by
Theologies
Strategies
Principles
Techniques
Plans
Preparation
Helpful hints
Outlines.
I have been humbled by the war I cannot win.
I have been grieved by the desires I cannot conquer.
I have been confronted by the actions I cannot excuse.
And I have come to confess that what I really need is rescue.
So, have mercy on me, O God,
According to your unfailing love
According to your great compassion
Blot out my transgressions.
Wash away all my iniquity
And cleanse me from my sin.
For I know my transgressions
And my sin is always before me.
I embrace the rescue that could only be found in You.
Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord!

Amen. Here's to a new week with new mercies from a gracious Savior!